form-based contact

send an official complaint, message, question, licensing request, or eco-agriculture inquiry.

NOTE: I am an enthusiastic solicitor explicit elicitor. If you’re selling something, please consider how much of your time you are willing to spend on my nonsense. If the answer is “a lot,” state your business in writing with as much information as you can.

We are never, ever, ever “hopping on the phone to chat.”

Solicitations I deem particularly egregious will be mocked and may be turned into social media content.